Moving on...

I'll leave this site live for now for those who wish to look back at old posts, and I'll post a link from Ms. Cassandra Park, The Corporal Consultant. New blogs are now being posted there; please bookmark it and sign up as a regular reader.

Thanks!

Cassandra

Latest news

1. I've agreed to cohost the Paddles OTK munch with my husband, Rad, starting in August. We hope to get lots of people out and make this the best open spanking party in the NY area. I'd especially like to see a lot more MEN come out, especially fellow tops and doms, because there are a LOT of bad girls running amok around Paddles who need attention. I can only handle a few at a time. And I'm busy dealing with the bad boys as well. More details to come...

2. Looks like we will be going to Las Vegas for the Shadow Lane party over Labor Day weekend. Final contracts have not been signed, but as soon as Eve tells us they are we are booking our flight and hotel room. Rooms are an incredible bargain this time; if you have not gone to Shadow Lane yet, it's a wonderful party and I hope this is your time to take the plunge. I'll be topping a lot at this one, and will also be offering deals on private sessions. Stay tuned...

3. I'm working on a new website that will have my blog and all other information about Ms. Cassandra Park. It's not fully loaded yet, but you can take a sneak preview here: Ms Cassandra Park. Please post comments, too!

Cranky top

Yesterday I was seriously irritated. I've been working on a new website: For the first time, I have my own domain name, and I'm psyched about that. But I guess I am not as technologically advanced as I thought – after several days of trying, I could not figure out the instructions between the hosting site and the web content site I'm using.

We were planning to go to Paddles. It was the TES spanking group night, and our friend Jules from Strictly Spanking New York was leading a panel about “Having fun in the scene.” We wanted to come out to show our support.

By the time we had to get ready to go, I had not made much more progress on the website. I left the house feeling very annoyed – a vague sense of floating annoyance, where I couldn't tell if it was the unclear instructions or my own denseness causing the issues – and did it matter? -- The project was still not complete. My husband said not to worry; that we would get it resolved. I knew he was right, so I tried to let it go.

The “bright side” of my irritation was that it gave me the perfect head space for topping. I topped a few people last night including a two-part scene with H., who likes to pretty much take whatever I dish out -- I gave him a long caning and ended with a “flourish” -- six with a hard paddle. He squirmed and yelped ... it's nice seeing a sub react!

I also gave a fast and furious bare bottom spanking to Emily, who was poking me, trying to tickle me. God, I hate being tickled. But, she can take a good spanking, and it IS what she wanted, so -- being a nice person -- I delivered.

I did NOT get to top J., one of my favorite subby pain sluts, because he had to leave early. He is assured of a long, hard session soon.

This morning I got an email from the web host's help desk, and it was exactly what I needed. I resolved the problem, and the site is just about ready to go live. Stay tuned for the announcement...

It's my birthday!

And I need presents...

Okay, not really. Although it's always nice. But no need. Really, you shouldn't have! No, no, I protest. Aw...

Okay, enough nonsense. In ANY event, I will be at Paddles NYC tomorrow night for the TES spanking group. I'll probably be giving AND getting birthday spanks. Come say hi!

Ms. C

To the ladies...

I had a wonderful time at Florida Moonshine over the last five days. It's going to be so hard to return to work this morning, but I'll do my best to focus.

I probably did more topping at this party than I ever had. This time, I had more female friends ask me to play.

There was one particular NY bottom who doesn't NEED to ask -- when Em bratted me in front of others on Saturday night, I had no problem hauling her across my lap, yanking her shorts and panties down, and giving her a long, hard spanking. There was an audience and I think they were appreciative. Someone handed me a hairbrush and I used it, moderately at first. Then someone in the crowd said, "Is she TEXTING?" I looked down and realized she'd taken MY cell phone -- which she claimed had fallen out of my purse -- to call my husband while I was spanking her (I didn't know it was my husband until later, and I'm glad it wasn't anyone else! -- this was okay, as my husband has spanked this particular brat on MANY occasions). I grabbed and shut the phone, put it on the table, picked up the hairbrush again and this time used it for real.

She was sorry -- for a few minutes at least. I really enjoyed getting to play like that.

My other friend M. from California is very feisty but not really bratty. She gets into submissive head space pretty quickly, enjoys pain and can take a LOT -- so I can give her a long session with some of the harder implements but still call it a "good girl" spanking. On Sunday night we got to play and I spanked her with my hand for a while before using two straps on her. Afterward I rubbed her butt, neck, back and shoulders, and then we lay next to each other while I stroked and scratched her back. I hope she liked it -- it felt great to me. She's a cute little thing...

The other female I played with was Caroline, an American from Ireland. My husband had just done a role play with her in our room. Upon emerging, she saw me by the pool and asked if I'd like to play sometime. I said, "How about now?" and took her back into our room. Dad had just punished her; now it was Mom's turn ... I gave her a hand spanking on her bare bottom. Because she'd used bad language, I scared her by bringing out a bar of soap to shove in her mouth. I think that worked well -- but I had not had the chance to ask her beforehand if she would agree to that, so I left it at "next time" and gave her a pass. (I have soaped a few bad boys' mouths before for bad language, mouthing off or lying, so I have no problem doing that to women -- but one must make sure this type of play is acceptable to the bottom first.)

Tomorrow I'll write about some of my F/m scenes over the weekend. They were just as much fun...

Toys, part two

Thank you to the gentleman who bought me one of Kitty's beautiful paddles (Exotic Paddles) last night -- and allowed me to punish him with it afterward. He most certainly deserved it, and I was happy to help. Hope he is feeling it this morning.

To a certain male NY brat who tried to steal my pizza at the suite party -- hope YOU'RE feeling it this morning, too.

To the others I have still to get to -- watch out. I'm itching to use that paddle again, and the new cane I bought from Canes4Pain. NEXT? Bend over!

xxoo

Florida Moonshine and toys, toys, toys

I want one of these!!


In five days my husband Rad and I will be heading south to Florida, where the semi-annual Florida Moonshine Party is about to take place. I'm preparing clothes and toys now for the journey. Can't wait to see old friends and meet new ones. If you're reading this and are planning to attend, please let me know!

I WILL be topping a lot at this party, but I won't be attended the Saturday morning "Governess Gala" (AKA, Female tops/male bottoms) party. I had a great time at this event last year and got to spank and punish many well-deserving bad boys. But it was scheduled at the same time as the Florida Moonshine "Academy," which I also wanted to attend. This year, I'm indulging my other side and going back to school... my uniform is ready, all I need is a report card.

Meanwhile, I'm debating about which toys to take and which to leave at home. We usually try to keep it light when we pack, taking only a few of our very favorites. This usually comes down to my favorite strap, a medium-density one, and my husband's favorite, which is thicker and more punishing. Most of our straps come from The London Tanners, run by Ian. Ian part of the crew running Florida Moonshine and is a great guy, lots of fun in general and fun (and scary in a good way) to play with. London Tanners sells consistently well-made items and I've been very happy. We have about four "regular" straps from them, a school tawse, and a thin strap that tapers to the end and is extremely nasty to feel -- that's called "The Rat's Tail."

The Rat's Tail by London Tanners -- very nasty!

I'll probably leave my canes at home. I've purchased canes from different sources but I really like the quality of the canes made by WhypDancer of Canes4Pain. I'll have to check whether she'll be selling her wares this year at FMS. WhypDancer allows customers to buy a cane, use it during the weekend event, and then bring it back to her before the end of the party so she can ship it to them. This is a great service for those of us with normal-sized suitcases. She carries a range of items from basic, no-nonsense whippy canes to finely crafted and beautiful items of destruction. Check out these cane handle decorations she's created in her "Crown Jewels" collection.

"Kneeling sub" by Canes4Pane

"Barbed Fairy" by Canes4Pane

Paddles? We'll probably bring one or two. I want to put in a plug for Exotic Paddles, which are made extremely well by my friend Kitty from California. Like everyone else I'm plugging here, Kitty and her husband Bob are real players in the scene and they know what people like from both sides of the coin. I'm pretty sure THIS is the one we have:

"Captain's Paddle" by Exotic Paddles

If any generous sub wants to "gift" me with a toy being sold by one of the vendors at FMS, I will gladly pay him back by using it long and hard on him. Just be careful what you wish for!

Just wanted to announce

The trailer for the film I made with Southeastern Woodshed is now available.

I'd love for people to join the group and check it out. It was my first movie! Ms. Holly, who runs the group, is a very good disciplinarian, and on top of that, she's HOT!

Yes, I know it's my bottom side, but I think most of you know I switch. I'm hoping to do a co-topping scene with her in the future.

Can't wait to play with her again...

So many bad boys ...

Why do they insist on behaving badly? What will it take to get them to behave? It never seems to be enough. Do I have to use a frat paddle, do I have to cut a switch from a nearby tree and whip them with it until they are sobbing and begging for mercy? They never learn.

I'm due to meet one of them this afternoon. Says he "cursed out a teacher." So, as his "principal," I'm preparing to thrash him AND wash his mouth out with soap.

I don't think he will like it one bit and he may be crying and begging for me to stop. I won't, until I'm satisfied that he's truly sorry.

And yet in spite of what I give him today, I'm sure he'll be right back in my "office" within the month for another offense. Sigh.

They never learn...

Would like to get to know you...

Really. I would like to know what you're all about, what makes you tick, what kind of play you like, whether we're compatible, how hard I can spank you.

But there are ways of doing this. When I am on Instant Messenger chatting with other people and someone I don't know pops up and IMs me, I cannot just drop everything to IM with a stranger -- usually someone with no profile or a bare-bones one. I know nothing about him at all, and he wants me to chat with you.

So when I ask you, very politely, to send me an email telling me what you're all about and letting me schedule a time when we can IM, please do so. I'm not rejecting you. I'm saying I DO want to talk with you -- at a time when I'm not being rude to someone else or neglecting other things I need to handle. I work long hours and my at-home internet time is limited.

I've explained this recently to two or three male (why is it always male?) subs, who are popping up EVERY time I sign in. And it's the same type of message over and over: "You there?" "Can you chat now?" etc. etc. I've had to write four times to one guy, asking him to email me and tell me what he's looking for. I get no email, and the next time I sign in he pops up and says, "You there?"

What's sad is I also keep getting these messages when I'm NOT signed in. I understand the desire for instant gratification. But this is a real turnoff. Especially if you claim to be a sub. Follow directions!

Punishing J and T

My husband and I had a quiet dinner with some scene friends before we all descended upon Paddles' OTK night last night. After my usual "adjustment" period -- it tends to take me a little while to get into the proper head space -- I found my friend J. and led him upstairs for the thrashing he was craving. He's fun to play with because he knows what he wants, makes no apologies for it, and can take it hard. He's not a brat, although he pretends to be bad in order to have a reason for the spanking.

I gave him a pretty hard punishment, ending with a caning in which three different canes were used, which he seemed to "like" a lot. I keep thinking I need to push him harder next time, that we may be only just touching the edges of where we need to go. I never want to go TOO far. But too little can be a frustrating tease. So, more discussion is in order with J., and soon.

Also played with T., another favorite Paddles' partner of mine. He's very masochistic and can take a lot, so I KNOW I can push him. Also, it was his birthday the next day, so I gave him the present of a long, hard scene. Spanking, strapping, flogging, face slapping, back and chest and nipple punishment... I LOVED making him take everything. I loved seeing the pain in his eyes, his willingness to take more, and I gave him more.

(All copyrighted pictures, please do not use without asking!)

I need a maid!

I feel super, super lazy. Will someone please come clean my house? I'll give you a reward (ie, a nice spanking. What? Is there a better reward?)

Why is that Mr. Peanut in the last post is striking such a similar pose to mine? I did not notice this until after I posted that blog. Very strange. Mr. Peanut scared me as a toddler. Get your minds out of the gutter. I was on the Atlantic City boardwalk with my family and he was walking outside the Planters Store. Yes, trying to get people to taste his salty nuts, when it gets right down to it. What's with the cane? He's NOT limping! He seems like a very healthy nut, if you ask me. I find this mighty suspicious. And the monocle, spats and white gloves? How pretentious can you be? I just hope I don't run into him at Paddles some night. He seems like he's got a touch of A.D.D. (Almighty Dom Disorder).
The costume? Not as bad as Sad Panda, but disturbing, nonetheless.

Speaking of A.D.D., I was supposed to be out getting a walk in, and, naturally, got distracted by something I thought was more important. There is NOTHING either important or socially redeeming in this blog. It's barely thought-provoking. I hope I can find a cute whipping boy or girl soon to punish for this slacking off. (Can one get a whipping boy to atone for one's OWN sins?). Interesting. Here's some advice about whipping a boy from Yahoo Answers. Now, I'm not saying I agree with this advice. Just putting it out there for your amusement.

Peanut gallery

When I am topping someone, I have a responsibility for my bottom. I should be focusing on him or her, not an audience, not how I (or we) look to onlookers, nor anything else outside of our sphere. At a club or party I know there will be noise, people talking nearby, sometimes quite loudly, and people occasionally talking about the scene in which we're engaged. There's nothing I can do about that; I have to accept it. Accept it -- but not engage in it.

Please don't be insulted if I don't acknowledge you if you try to get my attention during a scene. It does not mean I don't like you and that I don't want to talk to you later. This did happen on Saturday night, when someone wanted to say goodbye to me while I was playing. We've already talked about it, he apologized, and I'm cool.

But I still wanted to mention it here, in case others might need to know about this piece of etiquette. To me, it shows a lack of respect for the person I'm playing with to begin to talk to someone during our scene.

I know how annoying and insulting that can be when I'm bottoming. As a sub I am often "treated" to helpful suggestions from onlookers, comments from "Spank her harder!" to the audacity of "Here, try THIS on her!" Sometimes I try to imagine what implement is being offered to my top -- who usually has plenty of his own toys (and doesn't need another top implying he isn't doing a good job).

I know people are just trying to have fun, and I usually don't get upset, but I will often pop my head up at times like these to exclaim, "Okay, that's enough from the Peanut Gallery!" I'm joking about it to be "nice," but I really mean it ... that's enough! There ARE some light-hearted scenes where interjections from the crowd would not be a big deal. But, if I didn't know whether or not a scene was "fun" or "serious," I'd err on the side of caution.

I had one top who, in the middle of spanking me, engaged in a conversation with someone else who'd wandered over. I tried my usual tactic: "Hello? Peanut Gallery?" and was ignored. They continued to talk. Gee, I wonder whatever happened to that top? It's been a LONG time since I've wanted to play with him...

As a top I bear this in mind. We are all fragile to some degree, but especially those who are making themselves vulnerable, physically and emotionally, to another.

Craving domestic discipline?

If any subs or switches have been longing for a domestic scene, here's your opportunity to be taken in hand (and tossed over my knee) while contributing to a good cause: During the rest of April and up until May 1, I'm offering sessions at half my normal one-hour+ tribute and contributing this to the Revlon Run/Walk for Women on May 2 in NYC. My friend Lisa, a fellow spanko and blogger, talked me into joining her in this fund-raiser for women's cancers. I like the walking part, but it's always tough to raise money for these events so I thought I'd combine it with a little domestic discipline.

In addition to the above special, at Paddles NYC only I can offer 15-minute spankings in exchange for $25 donations, or 15-minute floggings or canings for $50 contributions.

Just so I'm clear, I'm donating all of these tributes (from those who request this special) to the Revlon Walk cancer research, and I'm lowering my rates to generate quick interest. Anyone who CAN contribute more would certainly be well-appreciated.

The normal rules apply; I don't do sexual play of any kind. This is mainly discipline or punishment play. P.S. If you want to switch, the tribute is slightly higher.

I got to use the canes!

I did a bit of topping last night at Paddles. My good friend B. asked me to top "him." He dresses in over-the-top frilly sissy maid outfits. In real life, he's just a regular guy -- personable and funny and smart -- so topping him is a pleasure (It's so much more fun to top someone who's not ridiculously shy and anti-social: the type who want you to drag them out of the corner but never give you a reason why you'd WANT to drag them out of the corner; the type who can barely put two words together in the presence of others).

B. was feeling subby, though, and I gave him a hard spanking, strapping and finally a caning. He seemed to want to stop halfway through his caning. I paused to check in with him. He didn't seem that much in distress, and at no point did he use a safeword, even "yellow." I said, "B., you're going to have to take what's coming to you." I hope I was reading him correctly that he wanted me to push him. I suppose I COULD have gotten mean with him and said, "You are going to get 10 extra now for questioning the punishment you've earned." But, that's in hindsight -- I simply didn't think of that strategy at the time!

Afterward we sat and talked. He seemed very peaceful, said he'd been sad about work issues, and that he REALLY needed the release I'd given him. That made me feel good. Part of my pleasure in topping is to help the bottom get to the place they need to go.

Resurfacing

I'm going to try to get more active and write more on this blog. It's been a tough fall and winter, mainly due to work pressures. It's not so much that I don't have time, although that's been a big part of the problem: my commute and the hours spent at work add up to long days. It's more a mental thing, where I'm so focused on one area of my life that I find it hard to shift gears, and where I find myself feeling GUILTY when I shift gears (because my current mind set is that I "should" be getting work done and focusing on other areas of my life).

Last fall I had minor surgery and took a break from playing. But when I started to feel better physically, I wasn't quite ready to jump back in mentally. I had to start back slowly, and my side business went practically dormant. I had to cancel or postpone several appointments because of this combination (work too crazy, head not in right place). On top of that, my husband and I had several family tragedies that took us further out of the scene world.

I've never had a problem spanking or flogging or caning someone at a party (and I'm probably going to do some of that tonight; it's OTK time at Paddles). It's just that when I dedicate one hour to a client, I cannot just call it in. I am there for HIM, his fantasies, and I need to be in the right space emotionally. A spanking to me is MUCH more than a physical act.

I'd like to start again, slowly. I'm working on a new website that I'm hoping will offer some more online options for play (more to be revealed) combined with real-life sessions, of course. (I could never just play online; however, those in different parts of the country or out of the country may like these options). Among other things, I'm going to be offering mentoring for weight loss and other issues.

If you're going to the OTK party at Paddles NYC tonight, please respectfully introduce yourself, if we haven't met. FYI, I am bringing my canes, if anyone is interested...