Toys, part II: A pain in the ass

The cane, that is. But it's such a GOOD pain, isn't it? So different than the sharp slap of a hand, the sting of a paddle. Done slowly and deliberately, with long spaces in between where a bad boy wonders when the next stroke is going to come.

Sometimes I am evil, and will make it whistle near my sub's ear to make him even more nervous. And then I'll give him the real thing, will swish the rattan down so that it lands sharply across both buttocks. I know that it sometimes feel like it's cutting into the skin.

Sometimes my victim gasps in shock, sometimes he simply yelps. Do you know how much I love those reactions?

What do you all think? Cane ... Yes? No? That's up to YOU, Ma'am?

Evil toys

Just a couple of my toys. I have been discussing an upcoming scene with a new sub, and I wanted to send him some pictures of my implements. He's never been caned and has been fantasizing about it. I hope to give him a taste of that real soon. He also told me he's been curious about the tawse. I can tell you from first-hand experience that the tawse is pretty nasty. In case anyone isn't sure, it's the tan split-ended strap right next to the bath brush -- which I just got from Bed, Bath, and Beyond -- above. The strap to the right of the tawse was found in a tack shop in Colorado, when Rad and I were on vacation last fall. We have no idea what, if any, equestrian use this strap has. But it's a very effective tool for "training" two-legged animals.

Next in the row is the "rat tail," a thin London Tanners specialty -- ALSO nasty (I wonder why I have so many evil toys in my possession?). Then there is the double strap from London Tanners, which I love. THAT'S a nice strap. Just right. Not too heavy, not too light. Easy to aim, easy to grip (women have smaller hands than men so not everything is easy to grasp). And finally, there's your standard wooden hairbrush. Nothing special; I found it at Duane Reade and the wood isn't too thick. Rad has a solid wood Fuller Brush that he sometimes uses. THAT's nasty. But I don't like to use it that much. It DOES hurt, a LOT. But it's small so it doesn't look all that dramatic when people are watching.

Cassandra

The stresses of life

I was stressed out all day yesterday, dealing with a new boss and wondering if life was going to get easier or better under her (last few months have been stressful because we've been shorthanded, now I sense I may be given more duties).

I have an appointment this evening that I'd thought about cancelling because of my mood. Instead, I'm going forward. I think it will do me good to spank someone. He needs to be punished by a strict "babysitter," I can let loose on him and get "angry." I'm bringing a hairbrush, a strap and a nice paddle.

I've felt a little out of sync with the subs in my last several sessions. I got the impression I didn't go hard enough. I spank pretty hard, but some men just need it a lot harder. Some need it lighter, however -- they're more into the humiliation or the giving over of control -- so you can't make any assumptions.

One sub felt disappointed because he was hoping for a female audience to watch him get beaten. We were playing at Paddles, so there's always the possibility of an audience, but certainly no guarantee, and unless he had collected his own audience ahead of time, there was no way I could guarantee that particular fantasy be fulfilled. Naturally, I feel disappointed, too, because I worked on him pretty hard and I was left feeling that it wasn't enough for him.

But tonight, I think I will really push my sub hard. He knows about safe words and can always use them. I will warm him up and then build up to the paddling. Yes, I think he really will get a good paddling tonight. He had a former domme who used to wash his mouth out with soap, and I'm bringing a fresh bar of soap just in case. I haven't done that to a sub yet, but maybe tonight will be the night. Can I make him cry?

Finding time and switching gears

I am busy and obsessive and a bit neurotic this week. Work's just been nuts.

Meanwhile, I’ve been hoping to talk live with a sub I’m meeting on Sunday, but I haven’t been able to work out the time to talk. I can’t talk at my desk, my lunch hour keeps shifting because of various jobs I’ve just got to get done, and beyond that, my head space is somewhere else.

I’m not a domme 24/7. My full-time job is as an editor. So I'll be focusing on proofing text one minute, then stepping away the next minute to go talk to someone about paddling? Not so easy.

Today's call went fine. I manage to make the call this afternoon, we connected, talked for a few minutes, and all is well, He seems pretty nice, and Sunday should be a lot of fun. For me, at least. Maybe not for him. He’s going to get it good.

I’ll have to find a way, though, to talk with people more easily. It really comes down to logistics as far as MAKING the calls. Privacy is not a huge issue, as long as I can go downstairs and out of the building. I work near Riverside Park, which has many benches and paths and trails so privacy is available a short walk away.

As far as shifting gears, I'm considering a quick mediation before dialing.

Angry mom or teacher

I love doing domestic or school role play. To me it's so easy to step into the role of a mother who's just found out her darling son has gotten into trouble at school. Or the teacher who has caught him smoking, or acting up in class, or drinking. Offenses that a old-fashioned authority figure would HAVE to nip in the bud quickly with some discipline, right?

It's also a good excuse to give it to the poor boy HARD. Not "I forgot to do my homework" or, "I was late for school." REAL over-the-top offenses (of course I mean the fantasy version of "real") that must be answered with REAL over-the-knee punishment.

So what's a serious offense vs. one you might still punish someone for, but not as hard? Maybe cheating on a test vs. forgetting to study for a test... cutting school vs. being late for school... bullying someone vs. standing up for oneself in a fight. Stealing... smoking... drinking... having sex with the dog. OK, just kidding about the last one (I hope I never have a sub admit to THAT!).

One man I topped said he had misbehaved by putting gum in the girls' hair at school. I found that one hard to role play, because his character was acting like he didn't understand why that was wrong. He was acting like it was no big deal, whereas in real life a kid who did that would have a lot of very angry girls after him ... yes, maybe that WAS his goal, but still... it wouldn't be someone I would LIKE very much had I encountered him in real life.

I think I like to feel, when playing, that the character I'm topping is still a likable person, even though he's done something wrong and needs learn a lesson. This type of play, however, really lets me let loose. I can yell, slap the man's face when he mouths off, grab his hair, etc. I can also spank as hard as I like, strap as hard as I like or paddle as hard as I like.

It's a very scary type of scene if you're the one getting the punishment. But that's exactly what certain boys need, over and over and over...

Good scene

I have a friend who is an insatiable spanko, a switch like me, and I got to play with him tonight. He's able to take a lot more than I usually give out, so I can go pretty hard on him. It allows me good practice time with my cane. I probably need to go a lot harder on him. I'm still not perfect with my aim, so I choke up a bit, which reduces the velocity of the swing. Still, it whistled as it swung down, so I don't think I was holding back TOO much. The lines it left were straight across. I tried to get the stroke across both cheeks, and I did pretty well.

I started with a medium thickness cane, then switched to a longer, thinner one that I knew would provide a sharper pain. Lastly, I used a crooked school cane that was even thinner. I knew this was wicked and I used it for quite a while, teasing him with light taps that changed to heavier taps, tapping that became more and more painful as the cane struck harder and harder, and finally, there were three "real" strokes in a row, whap whap whap!

This left him gasping and boy, I liked that reaction. I returned immediately to the tap, tap, tapping and built up again. I did twelve strokes this way, and wanted to give a nice little "burst" at the end, so as I tapped for the last time I informed him he would be getting ten more cane strokes -- but that they would be delivered rapidly, non stop. tap tap tap... "Are you ready?" tap tap... "Yes, Ma'am," he murmered. "All right, then ..." and I let them fly. It really gave me a rush and again, a nice reaction.

After the caning I sent him to the corner to "think about the paddling that you still have coming."
We rounded out the session with an OTK paddling with three different paddles. The house where we were playing had a Cracker Barrel paddle, which isn't real wood but is made of about half-inch particle board. It looked painful enough to me, but B. apparently LOVED the sensation. I was ready to call him "repented," but he indicated he needed more and I complied. I hate it if someone doesn't fee satisfied!

I took the paddle and whacked him all over, bursts of ten and twenty strokes at a time. I probably gave him at least fifty more (I had already delivered 50 with each of the three paddles). He was finally yelping and squirming, but I made him take just a little more... just a little more.

When we finished he seemed really, really zoned out. What a feeling! Damn, I want to do that again real soon!

A rude awakening

I opened up my email this morning to find an email from a sub (supposedly) and two pictures of his tiny cock. He wrote,

"Hi Mistress,

Do accept my apology for the delay. (I don't believe we had even emailed before)
I have attached the pictures as requested (I know I would not ask someone to send me pictures of his cock, that does NOTHING for me).

Please forgive me for its size (I don't care about the size).

Will await your comments and instructions. (I asked him to explain his rudeness ASAP, and to make an appointment with me so I could beat him).

Look forward to our 1st session. (I do too -- see above, but I doubt it will happen).

To recap -- DON'T send me pictures of your cock. Ever.

Topping as a switch

I am pretty sure that playing for years as a bottom benefits my playing as a top. At the very least, I know how implements feel and how I react to them. This doesn't mean that I'll know how EVERY bottom reacts to EVERY toy -- some bottoms I've played with can take a heavy paddling yet struggle with a belting or strapping. I'm the exact opposite when I bottom. Leather is so much nicer than wood, in my opinion.

But in a more general sense, I know it's important for MANY bottoms to be pushed, to be made to take more than they think they can take. It's not about the sensation of pain (although pain is definitely important), it's about giving over control and letting someone else MAKE you take the pain.

To me, the whole idea of playing Mom or Babysitter or Teacher to a "Young Man" is so the adult in front of me can shift into a frame of mind where he believes he has no right to complain about what's happening to him. It's not always necessary to do a role play, however. Sometimes it's simply accepting that I'm in charge. Or I'll snap a collar onto a sub at the beginning of the scene, which can also provide that feeling of helplessness.

I've heard some people say things like "Every good top should switch to get an idea of what he/she is dishing out." I don't think that's necessarily true. If you don't register pain as anything but pain, and if you remain in control, you aren't really getting the full effect of what a bottom is going through. Also, toys carry emotional meaning. One toy may generate more FEAR than another toy -- like a wooden spoon, almost exclusively something a mom would grab, vs. a wooden paddle, a teacher's method of correction.